You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize