i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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