I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize