From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
