i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
