i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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