I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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