That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
