You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
