Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize