Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
