Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
