You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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