Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize