i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
