Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
