Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
you never un-have a 4some
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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