I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
