Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
