I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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