so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
