last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
