meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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