No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i wish my penis had a tongue
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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