Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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