she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize