the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
