For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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