i just wanna soil my oats bro
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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