Sponge bath it is.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
