You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
