weddingsv make me drug and hornr
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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