Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
