capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
