As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
