you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
