I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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