is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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