Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
...so i touched it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
