Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
