On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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