you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
