i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
