My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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