Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
