Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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