As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
