Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
