I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
