He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
