we're blogging at a bar
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
