bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
