a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
