Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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