so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
farters have to be the big spoon...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize