He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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