Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
