fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
