So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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