Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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