Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
