I CAN MOONWALK!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
