So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
