This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
