Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
