its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
