guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize