Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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