But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
