clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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