she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
