Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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