white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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