there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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