I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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