you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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