you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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