hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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