you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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