i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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