I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
