Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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