Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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