it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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