That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
