Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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